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Q: Is there a good way to tell my girlfriend that she doesn't have the body to wear belly shirts or low-rider jeans? Jimmy D, Mpls, MN
A: Not if you want to see what's under them ever again. Q: I want to go to a function at my old college -- alone. What's the best way to tell my wife? Brett, Concord, NH A: Try this. Shave your head, paint your face, brand your deltoids Delta Lambda whatever, shove a keg into the car trunk, then streak across your living room. She's going to hear one thing: You want to act like a punk-ass kid again. She won't want any part of it. Just make sure you've made her feel secure about old girlfriends. If you're in the clear there, she might be willing to let you have a fun weekend. Throwing in a girls' weekend for her might grease the wheels a bit, too.
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